How many questions do you ask in the course of day? Not internally, but out loud.
If I really allow myself to think it through, many parts of my day include questions. What’s the best time of day to buy gas? When will the sun go down? How much is that? Why are my children screaming in the other room?
But how often do we genuinely ask what’s on our mind?
I sat down one day with a lovely lady who wanted to get to know me better. I also wanted to know her. She began by expressing interest in what I’ve done in the past. I found myself sharing. As I shared, her intrigue grew, she asked another question. Not prodding or in any way annoying, she genuinely wanted to know more about me.
When our time together had finished, she had learned much about me and I felt great, but I knew so little about her. I didn’t ask the proper questions. I didn’t ask much at all. It made me wonder how she felt when we finished talking.
Now I sit in my home, near the most precious people in the world to me. Have I asked them good questions today? There’s an art to good questions. They flow from our experiences without being predetermined. One question ignites the next because of our genuine care and concern for others.
If my girls and my husband are to know how much I value them, I must ask questions. The more I inquire, the better I’ll become at the art of question asking. I’ve seen this within my home already.
This might make you think you’ll never get to share your stuff. Maybe. But so far, I’ve seen quite the opposite. The better and more caring my questions become, the more they inspire questions from my children, just like my friend inspired me.
Let’s imagine this experience as life continues. The more questions I ask, the better I get at asking questions. The more my family shares, the better we know each other. We become closer. We understand each other more. We converse on multiple topics without fear throughout our lives.
Now that’s how a family should work, don’t you think?
If this is something you struggle with, take the challenge with me today. Make a plan to ask more questions than you answer. At first it might be difficult, because you haven’t had much practice. But in the same way we learn to walk and spit our watermelon seeds, we can do this.
My choice today:
Ask more questions than I answer.